On Getting Married

People often ask me if I feel any different since I got married. My answer is always, yes. Very different.

Before marriage I felt a tremendous love for Elise, but now it's a new kind of love. A much deeper caring, almost a longing-for-more kind of love that I have not experienced before. It's really great. We have now committed ourselves, in front of God and everybody, to each other for the rest of our days. That is something that just can't be done lightly. We can feel that commitment every day.

We've (Elise and I) discussed how there is now a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders regarding the whole thought of and dread, at least on our parts, of not finding "the one", and thankfully we don't have to date again, because dating sucks. You are either looking for someone to be with, or you are in that "in between relationships" gray area. But now that we don't have that worry we now have a whole new set of worries or stresses regarding the other person in our lives. How are they feeling today? How is their life, job, school, relations with others going? When you get married there is a lot of change, most of it good.


Things change right away. Directly after the ceremony it was all "Wow. We got married!" Which soon became, "I can't believe we got married." To now, a little over a month, "Yep, we're married alright." My friend Gil once said about newlyweds (really I think he meant anyone married for less time than he and his wife) "They haven't been married long enough to hate each other." Hm, okay... I'll take your word for it Gil. I, uh, can't wait? Maybe he is just tired of working at his marriage.

What I have been hearing a lot is how difficult a marriage is. Another friend, Victor, says that "You've got to treat it like a part time job. You have to work at it." That I can understand. Just think of all the big things in life that people in your life do for you and how that can effect your life. Then just think how all those small things that you do effect another person every single day of their lives. So you have to be cognizant of these things and try to minimize them. Communication (I hear it all the time) is the key. So, thank goodness Elise and I are very open and discuss all kinds of things in our lives and we try to let the other person know our feelings as best we can. It's better to say it and discuss it than to let it fester and become anger. The good thing about Elise and I is that we like to talk to each other. We have become very best friends.

I know that my wife (heh, it's still fun to say) are not the only ones who are having or have had, new feelings and emotions regarding marriage and the new bond between us. Please feel free to share your thoughts.